I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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