can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
