everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
