Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize