But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
