I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
