found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
