9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
