You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
