If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
