Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
