Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
