My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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