You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
