Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
