She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
