i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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