Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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