You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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