I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
