Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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