Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
