Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I smell like Dick and happiness
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
