Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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