Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
