i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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