I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
