dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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