I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
