So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
