that's an acceptable place to lick
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
