thus making me awesome and them whores
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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