Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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