i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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