i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
