he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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