I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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