Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
