he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
