I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize