And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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