I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
