Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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