Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You are a genius and a whore.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
