plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
