What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
