just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
