Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
