so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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