Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize