just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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