ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
