My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize