So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
