so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
