the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
