My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I will be naked everywhere
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
