I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
