He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
